She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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