I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
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oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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