Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
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He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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