RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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