What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize