I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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