I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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