I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
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Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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