I molested 6 butterflies tonight
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize