Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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