i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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