4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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