I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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