Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize