the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize