I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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