Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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