Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize