i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize