You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
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Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
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The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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