Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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