i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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