Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
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I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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