Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
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Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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