You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Houston, we have a blender
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize