Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
