There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The adults are the big ones right?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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