i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
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She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
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I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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