Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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