doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
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Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My ass is underappreciated
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