So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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