maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it was like eating out sand paper
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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