What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
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I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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