i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
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I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
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I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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