She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize