Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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