feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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