its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
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I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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