yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
