That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize