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  • What's the priest and rabbi joke I don't get it all I hear is " a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:13am
  • lol. I don't fuck other men I''m happy with what I got. Always down for a beer though but I got some in my fridge so I'll pass. Lol.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 11:01am
  • tries* can't* Grammar nazis may have too much spare time, but a dumbass, an idiot.. really? I think that prize goes to the douches who can't spell or form sentences on a third grade level.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:39am
  • This may be one of the greatest things ive ever read. Lol. Itd be nice in heaven if they showed you a video of all of your blackouts. "oh so thats how i got home that night" ha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 11:35am
  • oh and 10:08. The house is clean and cooking happens when he gets off work NOT 6 hours before he gets off. Retard...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:19am
  • Yeah, the "first" thing really grinds my gears. I guess I just don't 'get it'.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 8:20am
  • Way to correct yourself 8:05 and still be wrong. Fail.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 8:18am
  • Hey I got this text last night. I feel cool.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 12:52am
  • Lol. No. Im not conceited Im aware. And no I dont hang out with ugly bitches... We leave those in the dirt for nobodys like you. lol.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:14am
  • lol. 10:30... Its dumbasses trying to use big words. Never saw the post you're talking about though. And yes correct yourself before one of these no life having idiots try to crack down on you. lol... Its a shame that you cant even have a couple of typos on here without having someone be so negative....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:34am
  • 8:20 you know what else grinds my gears there's no new priests and rabbi jokes. And this has been Peter griffin with what grinds my gears.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 8:30am
  • Funny shit? Hilarious? Are you guys retarded? I feel like I'm in the twilight zone episode where everyone had pig faces

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 6:17pm
  • god, you're all so annoying.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:58am
  • Yeah the aforementioned provides you with such a great life that you sit on tfln arguing with people who do what the soul purpose of this website is for. When truthfully you're just mad because you're a washed up cunt and your husband bangs all your livelier, prettier friends.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:51am
  • and i'm fairly sure this is from a movie...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:18pm
  • I actually have wondered this myself hah what are the odds.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 9:26am
  • 9:44 - Black outs are very, very real.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:14am
  • Prettiest out of all your friends? What a concieted cunt bag. Or (and this is my guess) you're all fucking trolls and you just hapen to have one less brown fingernail than the rest.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:12am
  • Omg! That's amazing, I wanna know the answer

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:33am
  • Haha.. gotta love the cops in 605... gotta love the 605 in general!

    Submitted by erniee on Jul 8, 11 at 9:33am
  • I'll shit on you in person.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:56am
  • Im not here to have my grammar corrected. Im here to read the texts and to entertain myself when I'm bored. Yes, idiots and dumbasses who can find nothing better to do with their time than to correct people and start shit online because they're too scared to go start shit with someone in person...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:47am
  • lol. first of all retard, i have no kids. And as I said before, Im not upset about anything. Very happy with my life. :-) I just like to occasionally entertain myself with others ignorance. Who's a burden on people? The successful, beautiful woman(me) or the probably 25+ yr old that still lives at home with mommy? Get a life or at least get over it and go finish suckin your dads dick...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:11am
  • Oops I meant ALOT of those nights. Lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 8:05am
  • i just shit on my dog.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:06pm
  • jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!!! HEY!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 11:14am
  • Man, I want to quit smoking... lol... Had to throw something irrelevant out there.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 11:06am
  • Sorry 10:58 but Im bored and new to tfln so Im trying to entertain myself... lol...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 11:02am
  • Haha. The fighting here was WAY better than the text itself. -HMR ;D

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 12:08am
  • @ 9:43, A "blackout" is real. Clearly you just havent drank enough whiskey

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:52am
  • I would love to see that..or them!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 6:04am
  • And FYI this is actually my first time even getting on tfln.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:58am
  • Yeah 1:56 I was going to say the same thing. It wasn't that long ago, how the hell do they miss that?! I believe it was almost word for word. Something like "since your life flashes before your eyes, do you think all your blackouts will be revealed to you when you die?"

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:36pm
  • And no my job, husband, family, and friends qualify me 4 having a life.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:31am
  • i like to think that all the long arguments on here that supposedly happen between two people actually happen between several unrelated people.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 2:05pm
  • lol he has no secretary and actually I know every move he makes. All men arent slimeballs like you (if you are a man or should I say boy) or if you are girl some women actually know how to keep a man and keep him happy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:03am
  • I didn't want to be that person but there was one EXACTLY like this months ago. jus sayin.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 1:56pm
  • It scares me how deep that actually is

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 12:32am
  • 9:31 #1 Awarded the offical worst chat trophy

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 3:40pm
  • Lmao op actually funny for a change

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:45pm
  • Ever since fml had the post: aforementioned gets me an automatic a on papers, everyone on these sights say use aforementioned like their god damned Einstein.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:30am
  • Ya I like the fresh prince of bell air

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 3:31am
  • So it would be kind of like the camera in the hangover wouldn't it. Just that the "camera" is your lifes story/video or whatever plays when you die(:

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 26, 09 at 11:18am
  • Holy Jesus! I hope not!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 11:29am
  • Does being "first" make you people feel better about the fact that you have nothing intelligent to respond with?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 8:15am
  • Trust me, there is no better than what I got... I have filet mignon...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 11:11am
  • This is copied from someone else's TFLN several months back!! Who would post this!?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:59am
  • Not sure I'd want to know. Waaaay too many mornings with pink balls and a sore asshole.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:05pm
  • lol. not mad at anything. Im entertaining myself with your ignorance on my day off while my husband is at work. Probably something you know nothing about. Lol. And I am the prettiest and youngest out of all of my friends.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:57am
  • Why would getting an A on your paper be an FML. Buddy, worry about concentrating on when to take your next breath and leave the big words to people with an education.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:34am
  • I hope so. I'll finally be able to get some closure on slot of nights. Lol.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 8:04am
  • 8:49 I know you're just upset because someone put your monsterous offspring you had out of wed lock during that period in your life when you were addicted to meth in it's place for being a failure. You should probably take turns sliting each other's wrists and die before either of you burden anyone else with your outrageous stupidity.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:04am
  • If you knew how to keep a man satisfied, you'd be cleaning the house and making sure dinner is on the table when he gets home, not rambling on tfln proving to the world how unlucky this man is to have even stuck his cock in your ass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:08am
  • FACT: a blackout happens due to too much liqour. Every drinker I know including myself has had a black out.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:45am
  • 8:44 I get it, is that because you drink alot? You must be so cool and hilarious you bloody lad. Bellend

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:11am
  • beautiful, blonde, and busty. Thats ME!!!! I have guys drooling and wishing they were with me... Lol...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:16am
  • Lol. 9:11 How childish. Is that all you can think of?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:31am
  • 8:49 let's not pretend that the life you live, withering away from AIDS, justifies you having a life.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 9:11am
  • Are they all by fkking anonymous

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 1:42am
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