Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
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My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
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Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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