YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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