yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
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I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize