Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
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while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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