I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
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I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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