i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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