New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
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its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
it's like heaven, but drunker
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
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You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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