my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize