Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize