No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize